Sometimes I Feel Paperback – December 28, 2025

Sometimes I Feelis a deeply personal memoir born from unspeakable loss: the murder of the author’s mother by a fifteen-year-old foster child.Instead of seeking retribution, Hope Hawkins watched in awe as her father transformed pain into purpose by creating EPIC (epicforchildren.org), an organization devoted to parenting and preventing child abuse and neglect-- the very conditions that shaped the boy’s life.The tragedy of this murder broke open the parts of Hope that were desperately trying to control each of the other challenging events of her life, the reality of her severe scoliosis, her diagnosis of bipolar depression, and her son’s battle with drug addiction. This memoir explores the subject of grief and the haunting question that arises: “Do you swallow grief and move on, or let it reshape you entirely?” Read more